Cruel Britannia

So I'm a pretty big fan of Britain. I spent two years of my life in the UK, and I enjoy a good pint of English bitter on a hot day. Or a cold day. Or really any day. Personal favorite favourite: Morland's Old Speckled Hen. Delicious stuff, and brewed not far from the dreaming spires I called home. But that's another beer for another post.

Which was why I was so excited about two British beers I was able to find in my local beer establishment, and why I was ultimately so let down by them.

First up, Wells' Bombardier. This poured a very promising ruddy amber, with a creamy off-white head with a decent staying power. From the looks of it, a good start.

Given the gorgeous look of this beer in the glass, I really expected better.

However, there was really no aroma to speak of. Granted, I poured the beer all the way to the top of the pint, so the glass was unable to trap any of the aromas. Clearly, I had to empty some space at the top of the glass by imbibing some of the liquid therein. Sadly, even the first sip was weak, a little bready and yeasty, but without the characteristic burnt caramel bite that I expect from a traditional English bitter. Additional attempts to coax an aroma out of the glass were roundly unsuccessful, and the mouthfeel got thinner and thinner as I continued to drink. It even developed, by the end of the bottle, a faint sourness, which was very out of place, and overall, the beer felt and tasted exceptionally watery.

Incidentally, I've provided the link to the Bombardier website, in case you are so interested. I cannot, however, in good conscience recommend clicking on it, however, as the site itself is designed very poorly, and the user experience assaults the sensibilities. Blah.

I also held out some promise for the Fuller's Vintage Ale 2009. Fuller's is the brewery of one of my favorite beers: London Pride, which is a wonderfully well-balanced session beer, as well as the previously and very well-reviewed London Porter, so I had very high hopes for the Vintage 2009. Sadly, this was also not to be.

Unlike the aforementioned watery mess of the Bombardier, the Vintage 2009 was awash in heavy flavors and aromas. The aroma was of sweet fruit, toffee, and candy, and the flavor was about the same, but with a kick of alcohol spiciness.

A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Unless the medicine is already as sweet as this stuff.

The pour was a deep amber, with a beautiful fluffy head that concentrated the aromas of cherries and, perhaps, cotton candy (or at least, severe amounts of sugar). The carbonation was pleasant and kept the sip interesting, but the flavor was severely disappointing. Instead of a molasses (treacle?) complexity that combines both bitter and sweet, this smacked of pure cane sugar. There were some banana esters that managed to escape being drowned out by the heavy sugar content. Instead of hops, the flavor of raw alcohol punctuated each sip, making for a truly bizarre counterpoint between cloying sweet and harsh spice. In the end, however, the syrupy sweetness of the beer won out and became very unpleasant, making the bottle a chore to finish.

It's almost enough to make me take up arms in revolution.