Douchetastic Beer

Happy memorial day. It's the start of summer and it's the start of grilling season. It's also the start of bad beer season, as lamented last week. Miller Lite, for instance, is offering "taste points" for "epic prizes" to "save my summer." My summer will certainly need saving if I'm caught drinking Miller Lite.

Anyway, so it's summer in New Jersey, which means watching out for jackasses wearing Ed Hardy clothing. It also, unfortunately, also means watching out for people drinking Ed Hardy beer.

Thankfully, this stuff is pretty easy to recognize: it's decked out in the same tattoo-festooned crap that is so easy to find on the bridge & tunnel crowd. There are two: a lite and a regular. Both are godawful.

I am ashamed for having purchased this.

The regular is surprisingly dark for a summer lager, but one can never be sure if that color is real. The smell? Stale fraternity basement. The sip is thin and lousy, with corn sweetness and no real bitterness at all. It's just a watery mess that made me regret dropping the $1.50 on it.

Whoever makes this beer doesn't like beer.

The light is, well, it's worse. Like somebody let wonderbread ferment in a pint glass of water and then pissed in it for good measure. I have nothing else except to say not to drink these beers. Ever.